Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
The 10 Most Kick-Ass Video Game Weapons
Almost universally, video games revolve around some sort of conflict and, more often than not, it is at least somewhat violent. Therefore, I have compiled a list of some of the most ass-kicking ways to put the hurt on your opponents. The following weapons have whoop-assery written all over them, and they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you actually get to use them - and then again while you watch your enemies cry.
10) Laptop Gun - Perfect Dark
What's better than a cutting edge laptop that can run Windows 2020 and offer incredible performance in gaming and other high-end PC applications? It's that very same laptop with the additional ability to turn into a fully automated machine gun turret. Both powerful and accurate, the laptop gun -- even without the turret function -- is one of the better rapid fire weapons in the game. Tossing it somewhere where it can do all the work by itself, mowing down the competition mercilessly and continuously, is just the icing on the cake. It's like having a partner who never runs out of ammo and always blasts the shit out of everyone - and you can't help but laugh at your opponents' misfortune when he does.
9) Kuribo's Shoe, aka. "The Boot" - Super Mario Bros. 3
Stolen from a goomba, the Kuribo shoe allows Mario and Luigi to crush just about anything. It's even tough enough to cruise the tops of black piranha plants; it renders the plumber brothers nearly invincible. It's only available in a single level in the entire game, but that's because "the boot" would cause even Bowser to vomit his own heart and watch hopelessly as the boot stomped into a puddle of blood and bile.
8) Cerebral Bore - Turok 2
Aim. Lock on. Fire. Watch the homing drill fly toward its target. Watch it latch onto the target's head. Watch blood and brains splatter as the drill bores into the target's skull. Watch the target die a horribly painful and gruesome death. Such is the way of the Cerebral Bore, and that is why it is one of the most kick-ass weapons in gaming. Let's face it: drilling into an enemy's head is awesome. It's just too bad that you can't keep them alive and fuck with them by stimulating certain points with electrodes like your own personal sci-tech marionette. That would land bump it up a few notches.
7) Red Shell - Mario Kart
It may not seem the manliest of weapons, it is definitely one of the most deadly. Equipped with some sort of homing device, this thing will relentlessly chase your adversary until either A) that particular driver is obliterated or B) it gets taken out by some other intercepting object. The sound of a red shell is enough to make even the most seasoned veterans sweat, and there is absolutely nothing like carrying an arsenal of three of them around the track with you.
6) Shotgun - Any Game with a Shotgun
In every shooting game, there is one standby that will never let you down. It's the gun you always find yourself going back to, and the gun that blows the living shit out of anything you point it at. Plain and simple, the shotgun has balls. Whether it's leaving gaping holes in your enemies' chests, blowing off their heads or splattering them into oblivion at point blank range, the shotgun gets the fucking job done.
5) Queen - Any Chess Game
Bear with me and save your jokes about how this is "the real cerebral bore." While she may not have originated in the world of videogames, the Queen has made the transition very well. She still unleashes the fury from just about anywhere on the board, and has been known to eat bishops for breakfast and shit out pawns. While some may argue that the Queen is, in fact, a character in the game of chess, they are simply WRONG. That wench is your fucking TOOL OF DESTRUCTION, and that's the reason why any of your bitch ass pawns that make it to the final rank turn into Queens. There's just no other choice.
4) AWP - Counter-Strike
Counter-Strike players know and fear the deadly thunder that is the AWP. Once you hear the crack and echo of this gun, you know to protect your fucking neck. This sniper rifle is so bad-ass that it will drop terrorists and CTs in a single shot and will easily penetrate walls, boxes, etc., on its way to penetrating your SKULL. At the highest or lowest level of play, the AWP is THE gun to use in CS, and is often banned by players because it's "too good." Damn right it is. It's better than YOU, you frightened pansies.
3) Chicago Typewriter - Resident Evil 4
While another gun in RE4, the Handcannon, has both the coolest name and the most powerful shot, the Chicago Typewriter is the stuff dreams are made of. It fires bullets at the rate of a machine gun and with the power of a sniper rifle. It wouldn't even matter who used it. You could equip an Olsen twin with one of these, and an entire auditorium full of zombies wouldn't stand a chance. The aftermath of a Chicago Typewriter party is the replenishment of all the blood banks on the east coast - not something I'd like to be on the receiving end of. I prefer to laugh maniacally while holding the trigger down.
2) Farsight XR-20 - Perfect Dark
If the AWP enables you to pwn opponents with the ease of taking candy from a baby, then the Farsight is like having a stable of servants beating up schoolchildren, taking their lunch money, and buying you gourmet meals that they serve to you on a golden platter - in bed. This gun is so ridiculous that it's nearly impossible NOT to win with it in your possession. It sees through walls, automatically follows targets and kills in one shot. That's one shot in the head... or in the fucking toenail. It doesn't matter. If fear could be bottled and sold, it'd be lubricant for the Farsight.
1) Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, aka. "Gravity Gun" - Half-Life 2
Hmm, let's parse the abilities of this weapon: it can grab ANY object from almost any distance and hurl it at your enemies, rendering them crippled or dead. That sounds like a winner. The Ravenholm level alone is enough to tip the scales in the gravity gun's favor; nothing beats shooting huge radial saws at zombified freaks at high speeds. The kills are a sight to behold and feel utterly satisfying. Let's not even mention the fact that later in the game, the gun can grab and launch full-grown men in armor, usually relieving them of their pitiful lives before ever making contact with any surface. Yes, it's that powerful.
10) Laptop Gun - Perfect Dark
What's better than a cutting edge laptop that can run Windows 2020 and offer incredible performance in gaming and other high-end PC applications? It's that very same laptop with the additional ability to turn into a fully automated machine gun turret. Both powerful and accurate, the laptop gun -- even without the turret function -- is one of the better rapid fire weapons in the game. Tossing it somewhere where it can do all the work by itself, mowing down the competition mercilessly and continuously, is just the icing on the cake. It's like having a partner who never runs out of ammo and always blasts the shit out of everyone - and you can't help but laugh at your opponents' misfortune when he does.
9) Kuribo's Shoe, aka. "The Boot" - Super Mario Bros. 3
Stolen from a goomba, the Kuribo shoe allows Mario and Luigi to crush just about anything. It's even tough enough to cruise the tops of black piranha plants; it renders the plumber brothers nearly invincible. It's only available in a single level in the entire game, but that's because "the boot" would cause even Bowser to vomit his own heart and watch hopelessly as the boot stomped into a puddle of blood and bile.
8) Cerebral Bore - Turok 2
Aim. Lock on. Fire. Watch the homing drill fly toward its target. Watch it latch onto the target's head. Watch blood and brains splatter as the drill bores into the target's skull. Watch the target die a horribly painful and gruesome death. Such is the way of the Cerebral Bore, and that is why it is one of the most kick-ass weapons in gaming. Let's face it: drilling into an enemy's head is awesome. It's just too bad that you can't keep them alive and fuck with them by stimulating certain points with electrodes like your own personal sci-tech marionette. That would land bump it up a few notches.
7) Red Shell - Mario Kart
It may not seem the manliest of weapons, it is definitely one of the most deadly. Equipped with some sort of homing device, this thing will relentlessly chase your adversary until either A) that particular driver is obliterated or B) it gets taken out by some other intercepting object. The sound of a red shell is enough to make even the most seasoned veterans sweat, and there is absolutely nothing like carrying an arsenal of three of them around the track with you.
6) Shotgun - Any Game with a Shotgun
In every shooting game, there is one standby that will never let you down. It's the gun you always find yourself going back to, and the gun that blows the living shit out of anything you point it at. Plain and simple, the shotgun has balls. Whether it's leaving gaping holes in your enemies' chests, blowing off their heads or splattering them into oblivion at point blank range, the shotgun gets the fucking job done.
5) Queen - Any Chess Game
Bear with me and save your jokes about how this is "the real cerebral bore." While she may not have originated in the world of videogames, the Queen has made the transition very well. She still unleashes the fury from just about anywhere on the board, and has been known to eat bishops for breakfast and shit out pawns. While some may argue that the Queen is, in fact, a character in the game of chess, they are simply WRONG. That wench is your fucking TOOL OF DESTRUCTION, and that's the reason why any of your bitch ass pawns that make it to the final rank turn into Queens. There's just no other choice.
4) AWP - Counter-Strike
Counter-Strike players know and fear the deadly thunder that is the AWP. Once you hear the crack and echo of this gun, you know to protect your fucking neck. This sniper rifle is so bad-ass that it will drop terrorists and CTs in a single shot and will easily penetrate walls, boxes, etc., on its way to penetrating your SKULL. At the highest or lowest level of play, the AWP is THE gun to use in CS, and is often banned by players because it's "too good." Damn right it is. It's better than YOU, you frightened pansies.
3) Chicago Typewriter - Resident Evil 4
While another gun in RE4, the Handcannon, has both the coolest name and the most powerful shot, the Chicago Typewriter is the stuff dreams are made of. It fires bullets at the rate of a machine gun and with the power of a sniper rifle. It wouldn't even matter who used it. You could equip an Olsen twin with one of these, and an entire auditorium full of zombies wouldn't stand a chance. The aftermath of a Chicago Typewriter party is the replenishment of all the blood banks on the east coast - not something I'd like to be on the receiving end of. I prefer to laugh maniacally while holding the trigger down.
2) Farsight XR-20 - Perfect Dark
If the AWP enables you to pwn opponents with the ease of taking candy from a baby, then the Farsight is like having a stable of servants beating up schoolchildren, taking their lunch money, and buying you gourmet meals that they serve to you on a golden platter - in bed. This gun is so ridiculous that it's nearly impossible NOT to win with it in your possession. It sees through walls, automatically follows targets and kills in one shot. That's one shot in the head... or in the fucking toenail. It doesn't matter. If fear could be bottled and sold, it'd be lubricant for the Farsight.
1) Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, aka. "Gravity Gun" - Half-Life 2
Hmm, let's parse the abilities of this weapon: it can grab ANY object from almost any distance and hurl it at your enemies, rendering them crippled or dead. That sounds like a winner. The Ravenholm level alone is enough to tip the scales in the gravity gun's favor; nothing beats shooting huge radial saws at zombified freaks at high speeds. The kills are a sight to behold and feel utterly satisfying. Let's not even mention the fact that later in the game, the gun can grab and launch full-grown men in armor, usually relieving them of their pitiful lives before ever making contact with any surface. Yes, it's that powerful.
June 5, 2007 - I'm sure that even right now your fingers are bruised from hitting the fret buttons on you guitars for Guitar Hero II. What better way to stress your fingers out than by revealing that another installment into the Guitar Hero pantheon is on its way. Are they tensing up and refusing to work? That's how you know you are ready for the upcoming onslaught you will put your fingers through once you are asked to become a rock legend of heroic status for a third time this fall. Well, there has been a little info finally revealed about this guaranteed hit, and you have to ask yourself one question. Are you ready to rock?
That is going to be the first question you will have to ask yourself come this fall. Some may have a bit of doubt on the delivery of the game this time around though. Since it was announced earlier this year that Harmonix would no longer be developing any of the Guitar Hero games, some fans have had a fear of the next installment not being up to par. Now that Neversoft will be the ones behind the development, some fans have breathed a sigh of relief on this issue. I, for one, agree with those that have. For starters, Neversoft has been intertwined with the Tony Hawk series for quite some time and the music in those titles inspires even the casual skater to want to hop on their boards and shred the pipe. The name Neversoft also piques the interest of some contributors as well. Where the first installment had some of the best tracks that we could have imagined for a first outing, the second time around brought more noteworthy bands to the game. Now that Neversoft is behind the hit, we can rest assured that there will be even more classic and new wave rock songs for us to jam in our living rooms with.
That is going to be the first question you will have to ask yourself come this fall. Some may have a bit of doubt on the delivery of the game this time around though. Since it was announced earlier this year that Harmonix would no longer be developing any of the Guitar Hero games, some fans have had a fear of the next installment not being up to par. Now that Neversoft will be the ones behind the development, some fans have breathed a sigh of relief on this issue. I, for one, agree with those that have. For starters, Neversoft has been intertwined with the Tony Hawk series for quite some time and the music in those titles inspires even the casual skater to want to hop on their boards and shred the pipe. The name Neversoft also piques the interest of some contributors as well. Where the first installment had some of the best tracks that we could have imagined for a first outing, the second time around brought more noteworthy bands to the game. Now that Neversoft is behind the hit, we can rest assured that there will be even more classic and new wave rock songs for us to jam in our living rooms with.
Fallout 3
After weeks of taunting gamers with concept art, Bethesda Softworks has released the first teaser trailer for Fallout 3. Although brief and cryptic, the two-minute-plus trailer does answer some questions about the much-anticipated title–and might allay many fears of fans from the series. 
First and foremost, the trailer dates Fallout 3. Though it did not reveal any platforms, Bethesda now plans on releasing the “next-generation” role-playing game in fall 2008. Bethesda’s most recent RPG, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, was originally scheduled for a fall 2005 release, but was delayed until spring 2006. It debuted on the PC and Xbox 360, but was eventually ported to the PlayStation 3 as well. Secondly, the trailer indicates that Fallout 3’s designers are attempting to stay true to the spirit of the acclaimed first two fallout games. The original Fallout (1997) began with a retro “Indian head” television test pattern. It then showed an ironic 1950s-esque newsreel of power-suited soldiers happily executing prisoners to the tune of “Maybe” by 1940s crooners The Ink Spots. The camera pulled back to reveal the TV was inside a burnt-out house in the postnuclear ruins of a bombed-out city before fading to the “Fallout” title screen. Then, narrator Ron Perlman (Hellboy) spoke the line, “War. War never changes.”
After the same test pattern, Fallout 3’s trailer begins with a 1950s-style radio warming up and then playing the Ink Spots’ “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire”–which was reportedly supposed to be the original Fallout’s theme. It then pulls back to show the interior of what looks like an Eisenhower-era bus containing various quaint personal effects. As the camera retreats further, it shows the bus is merely a shell, stacked atop a heap of twisted rubble in another ruined city. A power-armored soldier enters the frame and turns toward the camera. The trailer then cuts to the Fallout 3 title card as a voice-over again says, “War. War never changes.” Bethesda’s Pete Hines confirmed that the voice speaking the now-iconic line is indeed Ron Perlman. However, he declined to say anything further about the actor’s involvement in the game.Thirdly, the trailer contains many clues about what the actual game Fallout 3 will look like. Primarily, Hines confirmed the trailer is entirely in-engine, meaning that when players finally step into the postapocalyptic RPG, it will look much the same. Also hidden in the trailer is a recruiting poster for the same war that preceded previous Fallouts, as well as an ad for bunker maker Vault-Tec promising “A brighter future–underground!” A billboard for a car similar to that in Fallout 2 can be seen on a burned-out building outside the bus, and the radio bears a label saying “Radiation King”–a brand name from the original games. Finally, the soldier’s power armor clearly bears a Brotherhood of Steel logo–meaning the chivalrous order will be back in the sequel–and its helmet design is almost identical to that on the box of the original game.
First and foremost, the trailer dates Fallout 3. Though it did not reveal any platforms, Bethesda now plans on releasing the “next-generation” role-playing game in fall 2008. Bethesda’s most recent RPG, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, was originally scheduled for a fall 2005 release, but was delayed until spring 2006. It debuted on the PC and Xbox 360, but was eventually ported to the PlayStation 3 as well. Secondly, the trailer indicates that Fallout 3’s designers are attempting to stay true to the spirit of the acclaimed first two fallout games. The original Fallout (1997) began with a retro “Indian head” television test pattern. It then showed an ironic 1950s-esque newsreel of power-suited soldiers happily executing prisoners to the tune of “Maybe” by 1940s crooners The Ink Spots. The camera pulled back to reveal the TV was inside a burnt-out house in the postnuclear ruins of a bombed-out city before fading to the “Fallout” title screen. Then, narrator Ron Perlman (Hellboy) spoke the line, “War. War never changes.”
After the same test pattern, Fallout 3’s trailer begins with a 1950s-style radio warming up and then playing the Ink Spots’ “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire”–which was reportedly supposed to be the original Fallout’s theme. It then pulls back to show the interior of what looks like an Eisenhower-era bus containing various quaint personal effects. As the camera retreats further, it shows the bus is merely a shell, stacked atop a heap of twisted rubble in another ruined city. A power-armored soldier enters the frame and turns toward the camera. The trailer then cuts to the Fallout 3 title card as a voice-over again says, “War. War never changes.” Bethesda’s Pete Hines confirmed that the voice speaking the now-iconic line is indeed Ron Perlman. However, he declined to say anything further about the actor’s involvement in the game.Thirdly, the trailer contains many clues about what the actual game Fallout 3 will look like. Primarily, Hines confirmed the trailer is entirely in-engine, meaning that when players finally step into the postapocalyptic RPG, it will look much the same. Also hidden in the trailer is a recruiting poster for the same war that preceded previous Fallouts, as well as an ad for bunker maker Vault-Tec promising “A brighter future–underground!” A billboard for a car similar to that in Fallout 2 can be seen on a burned-out building outside the bus, and the radio bears a label saying “Radiation King”–a brand name from the original games. Finally, the soldier’s power armor clearly bears a Brotherhood of Steel logo–meaning the chivalrous order will be back in the sequel–and its helmet design is almost identical to that on the box of the original game.
RUMOR: Playstation 3 Price Drop in the Works
Following news that a “huge” announcement will come on June 11, Playstation 3 owners can only dream of a pricedrop. It would most certinly boost sales and it would help the lacking PS3 catch it's competition. Until now, it was only thought a pricedrop would come in 2008 at the very earliest. But now Sony Playstation owners are beginning to drool over this: “Sony does not rule out the possibility of lowering the price” of the PS3, Sony president Ryoji Chubachi told the daily Yomiuri Shimbun. They will make a “full assessment” of the competitive situation in the game market, and then make a decision.Interesting news. I guess we'll wait until June 11 to find out.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Ghost Recon began as a PC franchise and was brought over to Xbox two years back. Though a number of people loved the original on Xbox, I found it to be ugly, cumbersome, frustrating, and, frankly, not much fun. Ghost Recon 2 -- a game not only made for consoles, but made specifically for Xbox -- fixes many of the problems I had with the original, making for one of the best shooters on Xbox. A tactical squad-based shooter, Ghost Recon 2 plays somewhat like a slowed-down version of Rainbow Six 3. It's more realistic than most shooters, with cover being vital thanks to location-specific damage for you, your teammates, and the enemy. If you stick your head out too often, it will get blown off (not literally, as Ghost Recon 2 has no blood or brains) and it takes just a few hits to the body to drop you for good. Run-and-gun play style doesn't work here. Sure, you can go Rambo in some instances, but for the most part, you need to play caution and play smart. This type of slower gameplay might initially turn some off, but those who stick with it will find an engrossing and somewhat unique military shooter. As a less-than-ecstatic fan, I couldn't jump immediately into the Ghost Recon 2 world. But after a few of the earlier missions, GR 2 began to grow on me. If you've never played Ghost Recon before, you need to adapt your style just a bit. Once you hit the groove, Ghost Recon 2 has a lot of goodness to offer.
New Wii Virtual Console games in Japan Today
Four new games have come available today for the Virtual Console in Japan.
Adventures of Lolo
Golden Axe II
» (Famicom, HAL Laboratory) Adventures of Lolo - 500 Wii Points
» (Famicom, Taito) Front Line - 500 Wii Points
» (Megadrive, Sega) Golden Axe II - 600 Wii Points
» (PC-Engine, Hudson) THE Kunfu - 600 Wii Points
Adventures of Lolo
Golden Axe II
» (Famicom, HAL Laboratory) Adventures of Lolo - 500 Wii Points
» (Famicom, Taito) Front Line - 500 Wii Points
» (Megadrive, Sega) Golden Axe II - 600 Wii Points
» (PC-Engine, Hudson) THE Kunfu - 600 Wii Points
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